The cost of femininity

Girls have long been trained to be feminine at considerable cost to their humanity.  They have long been evaluated on the basis of appearance and caught in myriad double binds:  achieve, but not too much; be polite, but be yourself; be feminine and adult; be aware of our cultural heritage, but don't comment on the sexism.  Another way to describe this femininity training is to call it false self-training.  Girls are trained to be less than who they really are.  They are trained to be what the culture wants of its young women, not what they themselves want to become.

Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia:  Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls